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Emotions not only make us laugh, grieve, worry and fall in love.

Real success in everything related to career and personal life depends on them. Think it's not? Then why do people with high IQs often fail to achieve great success? This is what scientists have been thinking about. Therefore, along with ordinary intelligence, psychologists have identified such a thing as the level of emotional intelligence.

A bit of theory

Emotional intelligence is responsible for:

• self-understanding and self-expression;
• awareness of their emotions;
• empathy
• relationships with other people;
• an adequate assessment of reality;
• control and flexibility of emotions.

A high level of emotional intelligence means that a person:

• adequately evaluates himself, his capabilities and weaknesses, accepts himself as such and knows how to effectively use what is given to him by nature;
• understands the cause of certain emotions;
• recognizes and takes into account the feelings of others;
• understands and considers the feelings and needs of others;
• accepts and understands conditions arising from objective reality;
• manages his emotions, quickly and efficiently finding the best solution to the situation.

Will such a person be stress resistant? Yes.

Will others appreciate and respect him? Undoubtedly.

So it's no surprise that the Emotional Intelligence Test is becoming more and more popular in job applications.

You can test yourself and go through it yourself, for yourself.

Of course, you can and should develop this side of your personality, even if initially you were given not so many points in the test. The result is just an indicator of what needs to be worked on.

Working on myself

Professional coaching coach Muriel Wilkins noted this paradoxical moment: the lower the level of emotional intelligence in a person, the less he is aware of this and the more he sees his absence from others.

None of us are perfect. However, if there are any interpersonal problems, then it should be remembered: the participation and guilt of everyone in the problems is at least 50%. So when you're done blaming the other, think about what you've contributed to the relationship as well.

Where to begin?

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It's best to start with yourself. Three wonderful exercises will teach you to observe and recognize your emotions and the emotions of others.

1. Not used to watching emotions? And this should become a habit. Try to ask yourself questions several times a day: “how do I feel now?” and "why do I feel this way?"

If you have a source of strong negative emotions in your life, then you should stop deceiving and justifying yourself, take a clear look at your emotions and understand what drives them. If you are angry at a relative who does not give you as much attention as you think you deserve, then think about what worries you so much in this situation: maybe the fear of loneliness? And instead of accusations, it’s better to honestly say: “I am upset and I need support.”

Behind every emotion, especially negative, there is some kind of pain. But it is not a shame to feel it, although we were often taught the opposite in childhood. If we do not turn to our emotions, we may never understand what drives us in a given situation. You may need to enlist the help of a psychologist or a friend to help you deal with something that is difficult to see for yourself.

1. Observation of the surroundings. We are lucky: there are so many people around whose behavior you can watch forever. Here is a man answering “yes” with a very sour expression on his face - why? And here someone is loudly indignant at a rather ordinary request - is it really she who angered him so much? There, the girl chuckles skeptically at the compliment - what drives her?

Pay attention to how people react to some typical situations. Try to see more: what leads to this or that reaction? Imagine how a cheerful, sad, tired, irritated, inspired person would react in such a situation?

1. Observe yourself: how do you yourself react to what is happening in your life? First of all, do you blame someone or something else for the problems, or are you looking for the cause in yourself? And success is a merit only of you or not? Blaming someone else for the failures is just as unconstructive as denying yourself the recognition of your own merits. Of course, if you are not going to take all the laurels from the collective work only for yourself.

Sharpening communication skills

Now that we have a little understanding of the inner world and observed others, it's time to increase the level of emotional intelligence in interaction with other people.

1. Talk to people close to you and those around you about their emotions. Are you sure you know how they feel? Try to ask - just be prepared to hear what you could not even think of. Another way: to tell the first one about how you feel in this or that situation. Better not to talk about something serious - sometimes we really are not ready for some kind of frankness.
2. After you have become acquainted with the emotional world of others, it is worth moving on to more constructive methods of interaction. Now it's time to touch on the relationship to you personally: how people feel when they interact with you. Ask and try not to immediately make excuses for what you hear. And even more so, do not rush to refute and blame, since this will not lead to a solution. Sometimes the problem is not what you do, but how you do it.
3. The less developed a person's emotional intelligence, the less he attaches importance to the selection of the right words, and even more so, he does not care about the intonation with which he says this or that. Since he puts one meaning into the message, others may hear a completely different one:

Of course, it is impossible to take into account the individual feelings of everyone. But if you often encounter harsh responses from others, then your messages give them somewhat different information than you actually want to communicate.

The good news is that high emotional intelligence does not mean that all reflex responses are correct. It is the ability to make the right choice in any situation.

To do it, you should stop in time, not sending the relationship into the old vicious circle.

1. The old, proven way to find mutual understanding is to put yourself in the place of another. Look at yourself through someone else's eyes: what would you say to such a remark, suggestion, phrase? Would you like such a person?

Of course, do not forget about your desires and needs. They just need to be dressed in a different form, saying that you hear and understand the desires of the other side, now you just need to find something that will suit both you and the other person.

Such a simple technique can come to the rescue in the development of emotional intelligence. And after that, I think, all communication problems will be solved. And if not, watch an interesting lecture by Vadim Levkin.

See you!

Emotional intelligence is a type of intelligence responsible for recognizing personal emotions and the emotions of others, as well as for managing them. The beauty of emotional reactions is their versatility, they seem to work in all human cultures. People of any race equally experience happiness, grief, surprise, anger and unconsciously show them in the body and facial expressions. Every emotional reaction has its manifestations in the body. For example, the emotion of surprise has three hallmarks: enlargement of the eyes, opening of the mouth, and inhalation. Such reactions are associated with the need for a person to actively act in a non-standard situation: the eyes concentrate better on the subject, and the breath prepares for possible muscle activity for defense or running.

Emotional reactions are quite intellectual in their meaning, they help to make the right, rational decision, which is fundamentally completely contrary to what we are often taught - the need to suppress, avoid them. People with high IQs and analytical skills often unfairly deny the role of emotions.

The fallacy of this approach can be shown by proving that emotional reactions have a very specific role. If we throw a crumpled piece of paper at such an analyst, then even if he were a genius who could calculate its trajectory extremely quickly, he would not have time to make accurate calculations and make an analytical decision based on them until it reaches him, then, as his natural reaction has time make him instinctively lean away. And if instead of a lump of paper there is a weighty stone? Like this primitive situation, in difficult and important situations, a complex of emotions is also able to promptly turn on the desired behavior.

What is emotional intelligence?

Where did the concept of emotional intelligence come from? The concept was first proposed in 1990 by John Mayer and Peter Salovey, who published a book, published several articles, and spoke at the same conference. However, it was not until 1995, in which Daniel Goleman's book was published, that this theory gained its wide acceptance.

Goleman, as a journalist, met Salovey and Mayer and was able to present their idea beautifully. However, Salovey and Mayer continued to develop and improve their theory, and again a few years later, in collaboration with David Caruso, they published a book with already specific practical advice for readers who are interested in developing their emotional intelligence. Goleman, having popularized the concept, gave rise to a huge number of new ideas regarding the emotional, as well as its models and methods of measurement. And to this day, this topic is new and attractive.

Measuring emotional intelligence - there are three most common ways. One is self-assessment. However, over 80% of people see themselves as smarter than the average person, so this kind of evaluation is not very high quality. The second is the so-called 360 assessment, when you in a group evaluate the abilities of others, while they evaluate you. And the third is the testing method, for example, using the well-known MSCEIT methodology. Since its authors Meyer and Salovey, as well as Caruso, who joined them, are sure that emotional reactions can be evaluated unambiguously, there are unambiguously correct and unambiguously incorrect answers in the methodology.

The test subject is presented with a picture with a certain facial expression of a person, and the question is asked what kind of emotion, in the opinion of the test subject, he is experiencing. Each emotional reaction must be evaluated on several scales - to determine how sad, happy or angry this person is on a three-point scale. The test helps determine how accurately a person can gauge the emotions of others, which shows a high correlation overall with their level of emotional intelligence. The result of the test calculates the coefficient of emotional intelligence that we measured.

According to research, success in activities is not only associated with levels of IQ, intelligence itself, the levels of emotional intelligence that appropriated the abbreviation EQ also have a significant impact. And it’s true that in most companies employees have good mental abilities, but by no means everyone succeeds. Yes, being smart is important, but it's not enough. In one survey of 250 IT managers, they answered which leader they consider outstanding - the most frequently named options were shared vision, motivation, and the ability to experience empathy. Moreover, the questions were open-ended, without given options.

Many large modern companies, when selecting a candidate, firstly study his emotional intelligence. Employees with high EQ unleash less, do not exhibit, and have a greater inclination towards desirable social behavior. And if the conversation turned to leaders, then they better unite, rally the staff around themselves, contribute to the rapid achievement of the desired planned results by the team, form a vision well and convey it to their subordinates in a quality manner.

David Caruso set up the following experiment - suggested for CEO the possibility that he needs to move to a new company and take any 10 current employees with him. Interestingly, these selected 10 people had the highest EQ of all employees in the company.

Emotional intelligence levels are somewhat predictive of managers' future performance, but they are also much more accurate in predicting how they will act. Head-walking is not characteristic of high-EQ leaders, on the contrary, they belong to the category of leaders that subordinates want to be equal to.

Emotional intelligence is also important due to the fact that bright charismatic leaders always have the ability to infect the environment with emotions. A high EQ also guarantees greater team loyalty and greater employee engagement.

How to develop emotional intelligence?

The development of emotional intelligence begins with the ability to recognize the emotional reactions of other people by micro facial expressions, non-verbal bodily manifestations and intonations - as in the movie "Theory of Lies".

For example, a real, sincere, genuine smile must be accompanied by wrinkles around the eyes, a light, cheerful squint that conveys a state of joy and happiness. Everyone has such a skill to recognize emotions and works unconsciously. However, only a few people are truly talented at identifying emotions. Also, success here depends on the one who shows emotions - if his emotional intelligence is high, and the person wants to deceive you, then most likely he will succeed. A special study of human emotions by microexpressions allows you to get both information about how each emotion looks like, and skills in practice to quickly recognize them.

After this skill, it is imperative to pay attention to the development of control and the ability to express emotional reactions. It is important to learn to distinguish emotions in order to get the right picture of the world. Emotional reactions affect cognitive processes and thinking, because having relaxed and tuned in to a positive wave, a person perceives information better. To stimulate thinking, you need to understand emotions well.

Also, when we understand emotions, we can predict the behavior of other people. The skill of recognizing and managing emotions is especially important for various kinds of managers and team leaders, because at any given moment you need to be aware of the emotional state of the subordinates now: if they are upset, sad, with low energy, then on this day it is worth doing, for example, reconciliation of documents and verification of reports. If the people in the team are bursting with energy and full of joy, you can brainstorm, hold a meeting.

But what to do if you need to conduct it right now, and the emotional state of your colleagues does not match? It is difficult to motivate with words alone, while with the help of emotions, the leader can successfully inspire the team to the desired activity. What are the tricks here? For example, exhale, call to tune in, get together - like a coach of a sports team. It is useful to remember that the positive mood of the leader leads to better coordination in work and less labor costs.

An emotional reaction always has a fundamental cause that has an individual character. For example, a cheerful song usually evokes positive emotions, but a guy who invited an important girl for him to dance to this song and was refused, the same melody is likely to evoke negative emotions. It takes a lot of effort to hide your emotions. The more a person suppresses them in himself, the less he is able to absorb information. All his forces are spent on maintaining an impenetrable emotional facade, which, of course, is sometimes needed, but as a permanent regime it is very costly.

By following a proactive strategy, you can think ahead and direct another employee to a meeting that pisses you off emotionally. If, nevertheless, you went to the meeting and were taken out, then following the reactive strategy, you can inhale and exhale, count to three and calmly put your indignation on paper.

Emotional intelligence of a child

The development of emotional intelligence is relevant even for a small child, and this question can be asked by his parents, as well as teachers. Mark Bracket of Yale University runs a special program for children approved for use in schools. The program involves first training teachers, who then teach children themselves. The role of increasing knowledge about emotions in children is difficult to underestimate, because low emotional intelligence subsequently becomes a source of negative emotions and the first bad experience that can be imprinted for a lifetime. Through this kind of learning, children will have a choice. They can either experience the happiness they want, or be aware of bad emotions and try to change them. Thus, low emotional intelligence inherited in the family can be transformed through education, which is no less important than classical school education, aimed at expanding knowledge and increasing IQ.

Also, the book of the same name by authors John Gottman and Joan Decler is dedicated to the emotional intelligence of the child. She offers parents a methodology by which they can identify their parenting style, and with the help of a book to correct it, so that the child learns to harmoniously express emotions and develop his EQ, living a happy life.

The authors of the book consider in detail 4 types of parents with their respective styles of raising a child: rejecting, disapproving, not interfering, emotional. For emotional parenting, a parent must first have a high level of EQ, and the book helps develop this through a series of steps. For example, in order to develop towards the child’s emotions, the parent is asked to first understand what the child is experiencing, then, without being influenced by what sign this emotion is, treat it as a positive opportunity for rapprochement. Then the parent is encouraged to actively listen and confirm to the child why his emotion is justified, to agree that its reasons are natural. After that, a competent parent will try to help the child name his emotion, thereby carrying out prevention. And in the end, together with the child, determine how to express his feelings in an environmentally friendly way with respect to himself, to others, so that it is acceptable and not destructive, and the child has a complete discharge of emotions, and, consequently, a solution to an emotional problem.

It would seem that it is easier? However, even the most loving parent makes a lot of mistakes in his upbringing of children, and first of all they are tied to the negative unconscious attitudes learned from his parents. And even despite the desire not to repeat them, it is not so easy without special attention to personal parenting style and its adjustment.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) - the ability to identify, use, understand and manage one's own emotions in a positive way, for example, to relieve stress, overcome difficulties and defuse conflicts. Also, this ability allows you to recognize the emotional state of other people.

Emotional intelligence can be improved at any time in life.

However, there is a big difference between studying emotional intelligence and putting it into practice. You may understand that you must take certain steps, but this does not mean that you will take them, especially if you are under stress. In order to change your behavioral habits, you need to learn how to cope with.

Emotional intelligence usually consists of five components:

• Self-knowledge. You acknowledge your own emotions and understand how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, you have self-confidence.
• Self control. You can control impulsive feelings, manage your emotions in relationships, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Empathy. You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate easily, inspire and guide others.
• Motivation. You imagine your goal and are clearly aware of each next step on the way to your dream.
• social skills. You can understand the emotions, needs and problems of other people, recognize non-verbal cues, feel comfortable in society, determine the status of a person in a group or organization, and resolve conflicts within a team.

Why emotional intelligence is so important

Life shows that not always smart people achieve success and high social status. Surely you will remember a couple of people who have brilliant academic knowledge, but at the same time are socially incompetent both at work and in their personal lives.

A high IQ does not guarantee success in a career or family. Yes, he will help you enter a prestigious educational institution, but only emotional intelligence will help out when you need to calm emotions before final exams. In tandem, IQ and EQ reinforce each other.

Thus, emotional intelligence affects:

• school performance and productivity at work. Emotional intelligence will help you navigate complex social relationships in the workplace, become a leader and motivate others, and succeed in your career. Many companies evaluate the emotional intelligence of candidates at the interview, considering it no less important characteristic than professional competencies.
• Physical health. If you are unable to control your emotions, you probably do not know how to control stress. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress increases blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of a heart attack, promotes infertility and accelerates aging.
• Mental condition. Uncontrolled emotions and stress affect mental health, making us vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you don't manage your own emotions, you won't be able to build strong relationships. As a result, a feeling of loneliness and isolation will come.
• Relations. By understanding and managing your own emotions, you will learn to express your own, to feel those around you. This will allow you to communicate more effectively and build trust.

How to build emotional intelligence

1. Self-knowledge

Psychologists argue that current experiences are a reflection of earlier emotional experiences. This means that your ability to perceive anger, sadness, fear and joy most likely depends on the quality and intensity of emotions in the early stages of life.

If you have valued and understood your emotions in the past, they will become valuable assets in the future. If the experiences were painful and confusing, you will probably do everything you can to distance yourself from them. However, you should not even distance yourself from negative feelings, because acceptance and awareness of your emotional state is the key to understanding how experiences affect your thoughts and actions.

Ask yourself a few questions:

• Are emotions accompanied by physical sensations in the stomach, throat, or chest?
• Have you experienced feelings that are clearly reflected in your facial expressions?
• Can you experience strong feelings that completely consume your attention and the attention of others?
• Do you monitor your emotions when making decisions?

If there is at least one negative answer, your emotions are suppressed or turned off. In order to have healthy emotional intelligence, you must open up to experiences, let them into your comfort zone.

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Here are the surest ways to improve self-knowledge:

• Train mindfulness. That is, intentionally focusing attention on the present moment. Mindfulness is often associated with Buddhism, but most of the world's religions practice something similar in the form of prayer. It relieves anxiety, calms and adjusts, educates character.
• Keep a diary. At the end of each day, write down what happened to you, how you felt, and how you coped. Periodically look back and analyze typical situations, note where you did not finish or overdo it.
• Ask your loved ones how they see you. Feedback from multiple people will expose your strengths and weaknesses. Don't forget to record everything and look for patterns. The main thing is not to argue and not to object. It is important for you to see yourself through the eyes of others.

2. Self-control

Awareness of feelings is the first step to emotional management. You must use your emotions to make constructive decisions and build a course of action. When you become overly stressed, you can lose control of yourself and lose your mindfulness.

Remember how easy it is to think rationally in a state of overexertion. Probably not. This happens because the brain withdraws from thought processes and switches to an overabundance of feelings.

Emotions are important pieces of information; they tell us about ourselves and others. However, under stress, we become overwhelmed and lose control of ourselves. Learn to deal with stress. This way you can control feelings and behavior, manage relationships, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to a changing world.

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So how do you learn self-control? Surely you have heard about the old-fashioned way - to count to ten when you are angry.

It is not always possible to suppress anger or depression, however, a physical push will be in place. Feel tired - do some exercises. If you can't gather your strength, slap yourself in the face. In general, apply any physical force that will result in a slight shock and break the vicious circle.

3. Empathy

We constantly focus on what is most important to us. However, our emotions are only half of the relationship. All other people also have their own feelings, desires, triggers and fears. Therefore, empathy is an extremely important life skill.

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Try out some tips to help you become an empath:

• Talk less, listen more. This is the golden rule of any sincerely empathetic person. Of course, you cannot let through the whole gamut of feelings of another person, but you can try to hear him. Just let the person talk without interrupting them with your thoughts. This is difficult, especially if strong negative emotions are present. However, almost any connection will become stronger just because you are before entering into a conversation.
• Accept the opposite opinion contrary to your own position. To understand what drives a person, you need to be in his place. If you think your boss is in a reckless state, try to justify him in your head. Perhaps you would do the same if you were in his shoes.
• Understand the difference between the words "I know" and "I understand you." The first indicates that you allegedly had a similar life experience. The second says that you thought about the situation and lost it on your own behalf. Of course, understanding other people's problems is a more trusting and truthful level of relationships.

Empathy implies your reaction, but it must come at the right time. If someone is about to burst into tears or is torn from deep pain, do not try to muffle the feelings. A person needs to throw out emotions, and he will need your help.

4. Motivation

When we talk about motivation as part of emotional intelligence, we mean the inner core, not the psychological forces to get your body out of bed. As psychologists say, our core is in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. She becomes active at the mere thought of completing a meaningful task.

The goal can be a career, a family, a work of art, or anything, as long as it has a significant meaning in your life. When motivation gets down to business, it unites with reality, and we make real actions. To start a family, motivated people start dating. To get promoted, motivated people take on self-education.

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How to find your core? First of all, you need to find out your own values. Many of us are so busy that we don’t have time to delve into ourselves and prioritize. It is even worse if a person does work that directly contradicts his worldview and principles.

Secondly, it is worth transferring your goal to paper and painting it in detail. At the same time, it is necessary to understand that great success is greatly extended in time. It consists of small victories and bitter defeats.

5. Social skills

Social skills are the ability to understand what people around you constantly address you. These signals give a clear picture of what the person is experiencing and what is really important to them. In order to receive non-verbal signals, you need to stop your thoughts, not think about the goals and objectives that you are pursuing while being close to a person.

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Social skills cannot work for you if you are thinking about something other than the current event. When we are immersed in memories or transported into the future, we are simply not in the present. It becomes problematic to catch subtle non-verbal cues because of this.

Don't be fooled by multitasking. Yes, we can switch between topics very quickly, but in the transition, a subtle emotional shift is lost, which helps to understand other people.

Social skills are good to improve by resolving disagreements:

• Make time for each other, and then return to the problem. In a romantic relationship, you need to remind your partner that there is care and love behind criticism.
• Make sure both parties accurately represent the cause of the conflict. Offer a mutually beneficial solution that takes into account mutual desires and excludes additional requirements.
• End on one note, even if it's not entirely positive. Let your boss, colleague or significant other know that you are moving in the same direction, albeit with different points of view.

Along with conflict resolution, it is necessary to teach yourself to get to know each other, to maintain a conversation, to play. At the same time, it is desirable to study in advance the mentality of people of different nations.

In this article, I tried to collect the main characteristics of emotional intelligence. This will help you understand what you are missing and try to develop this or that quality in yourself.

I often think about why some smart people are so unhappy, why they cherish their depression and don't ask for help, why they refuse to make even small changes, why they go to jobs they don't like and don't try to connect with their colleagues. Why people with a low level of IQ are more likely to be successful and happy, while geeks are left out. It turned out, when it comes to happiness and success, emotional intelligence comes first rather than mental ability. It is the low level of emotional culture that hinders the internal development of many people.

Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, advance your career, and achieve personal goals. According to the Psychologos website, emotional intelligence is the ability to effectively understand the emotional sphere of human life: to understand emotions and the emotional background of relationships, to use your emotions to solve problems related to relationships and motivation.

How do you know if you have a well-developed emotional intelligence?

It doesn't matter if you're an introvert or an extrovert. Emotionally developed people likes to observe the behavior of others trying to understand the characters and actions of others. They are good at reading facial expressions and gestures. Such people like to get acquainted and learn, they are inquisitive, feel sympathy and accept the fact that we are all different.

You know your strengths and weaknesses

Being able to act according to your strengths and weaknesses is a rarity, but a huge plus. If you've ever met the most boring people who think they have a great sense of humor, you know what I mean. Emotionally developed people improve strengths and fight weaknesses, preventing the latter from directing actions and interfering with relationships.

When you're upset, you know exactly why.

We all experience emotional downturns, we feel sadness, disappointment, we are offended. In order to come to our senses in time and calm down, we should know the reason for what upsets us. Negative emotions don't come out of nowhere. There is always something that caused them. People with a high level of emotional intelligence have a wide vocabulary on the topic of emotions. They are able to distinguish irritation, indignation, sadness, anger, excitement, anxiety. If you learn to correctly recognize the emotion you are experiencing, it is easier to deal with it, understand its source and not let this feeling guide your actions and decisions.

You find time to help others even when you are in a hurry.

Most of the time we are completely focused on ourselves, especially when we are in a hurry. The ability to notice what is happening, to see people who need help and to provide this help is also a hallmark of a developed emotional intelligence. Sometimes you should stop to notice something very important.

You are good at reading other people's emotions

Emotionally intelligent people quickly figure out the emotions of others simply by their eyes and gestures. This helps to correct their behavior and make the right decisions. After all, it makes no sense to discuss important things with a person immersed in their problems, it is better to wait a bit so that the decisions are as balanced and effective as possible.

You find a way to bounce back after failure

Failures help you develop, teach you how to cope with stress, and adapt. Without them, success would not bring such pleasure. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to deal effectively with failure. Not easy, not fast, but effective. That is, do not ignore, do not dwell on a mistake, do not start to be afraid of mistakes, do not self-flagellate, but get the most out of failure, turn it into your teacher and.

Do you trust your intuition?

An emotionally developed person does not ignore the existence of intuition. There's nothing wrong with taking a risk follow your inner voice and see where it leads. How else to check that you have good intuition?

you know how to refuse

We so often sacrifice our own interests for the sake of others that we have lost count. We sacrifice the interests of the family, good rest, time alone with yourself to fulfill someone's request. People are starting to use it, but we can't say no because of the sense of responsibility and the desire to help. Sometimes it doesn't hurt at all gently refuse a request if the fulfillment of this request will take something important from you, or if you understand that the person simply does not want to understand and it is easier for him to hang it on someone else.

You adapt well to new conditions and are not afraid of change

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and constantly adapting. because they understand that the fear of the new paralyzes and blocks the road to happiness. If change flickers on the horizon, such people quickly form a strategic plan for adaptation.

You are not afraid of mistakes

Emotionally intelligent people don't take mistakes to heart, but they don't ignore them either. They benefit from the experience gained and always ready to admit their guilt. While people with low emotional intelligence never apologize for their mistakes and often try to blame others for their mistakes.

You are selfless

When someone gives something without expecting anything in return, it makes a powerful impression. People with highly developed emotional intelligence never don't do anything on credit and don't think about offsets.

You neutralize poisonous people

If this is not your specialty, then dealing with difficult people is difficult, unpleasant and tiring. When people with a high level of emotional intelligence work with toxic people, they constantly remember and control their emotions in order not to succumb to manipulation and not let aggression and frustration control the situation. Such people understand that the irrational behavior of some cannot be attempted to be explained in terms of common sense.

You don't strive for perfection

As Anna Chernykh wrote, perfectionism is probably the most socially approved neurosis. It's really hard to imagine a person being scolded for striving for perfection. But as Salvador Dali, who is dearly respected by me, said: Do not be afraid of perfection - you will not achieve it. That is why people of high emotional culture do not make perfectionism their goal. As long as perfection is our goal, we will constantly feel like failures, which makes us give up or stop trying. It is better to be happy with what you have achieved, and not dwell on the level that you did not reach.

You're tripping

Time alone with yourself, changing activities, rest and relaxation help to keep stress under control and live in the present. You cannot devote yourself to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You need to relax, rest. Even just turning off your phone for an hour can reduce your stress levels by several times, not to mention a whole day of relaxation. Emotionally intelligent people don't bring work home or discuss home at work.

You listen and hear

Do you know why it is so pleasant for emotionally developed people to trust and talk with them? They don't just listen, they hear, read between the lines, understand the veiled information well and help you deal with the situation without any questions.

Every person has emotional intelligence, although it is difficult to find someone in whom all qualities would be fully combined. If you were interested, in one of the following articles, I will try to talk about how to develop your emotional intelligence.